something is broken

And then, you feel like an empty plate. You miss some ingredients, nevertheless, you need kind of cleanliness for freedom. Contradictions, you never know...

Sometimes it's better to leave something broken, because if you try to fix it, you may end up getting hurt all over again. Or, in the worst case, hurting someone.

No-time-to-stop

Having a look in the bus and I was the only one wearing the belt. Curious. Just in front of our stomach (or our breasts, depending on how tall you are) we have that blue&white imperative or perhaps suggesting picture.

The insurance atmosphere is running against me, countdown; a phone number that follows an 0044, a five and a half hours trip, the Llucia Ramis' book next to me, a fat luggage that couldn't be closed without sitting on it. Looking forward to the telling-weekend-stories-time in Madrid.

Last night: warm hugs saying bye bye and seeking North-West directions.
At home: mom, dad and brother.
On the iPod: Els Amics de les Arts.
For tomorrow: a welcome business lunch.
Now: three and a half hours left. Almost one hundred and two litters of beer in the kitchen.

No-time-to-stop

To miss

"to regret the absence or loss of"

Don't you get bored at home?

- Spain is really immersed in that crisis.

- Long term pensions are not guaranteed.

- A huge part of the population (50%-70%) go into retirement before their 65 (the official age), and just 35% of people are working until they are 65 years old.

- University students don't start to pay for the national insurance until they are almost 25, later than they are expected.

- Life expectancy is longer than when the current pensions system was elaborated.

- We have more sanitary resources.

- Whe have developed technology, so we don't have to work as (physically) hard as before.

- When people are retired, they get depressed.

- Businessmen who own a small company go to the retirement to draw the pension, but they don't give up managing their familiar business. It seems they don't trust young and qualified generations...

- Young generations are less populated and have under qualified jobs, however they are paying the retirement of very populated old generations during around 30 years (since they go into retirement until they die). Will they be able to do that longer?

Aren't these reasons enough to extend the retirement age just two years?

And, what about a partial retirement after the age of 65?

reeds for help

Reeds: useful or disturbing stuff?

That was a kind of broken day. When trying to figure out the meaning there was always a little goblin who came with his reed and stayed in the middle of the issue. No discussion with logical end, just words; no problem with consistent solution, just suppositions.

Nevertheless, using that reed, it was possible to sustain the question, to mantain it alive longer. So, next time, the same unresolved point, one more way to carry on our own trial.

That's the prominent spiral when pretending to take a decision before its time.

So what?

Is it possible to feel unconfortable at home? Yes it is. And it is also possible to feel out of joint in your group of friends. Time has been passing and each one of us has been doing what he or she prefered. Building our lifes on different ways, even on opposite ways. And the conclusion of all those paths is that we are almost alone. One of us would like to do something and it has to be done alone, without company (or with new people) the others are not going to give for you, be sure. While everything is happenning, one day, you fall in love. How to say "I love you" tactfully without being unnoticed? Don't ask those old friends, their advices will not work now. You will not feel comfortable acting as they recomend.

The other part support the opinion that home friends will be always there, waiting for you, helping you when you need them. They will give you the best advices. They will share everyting with you. They are always going to ask you "how are you" and "how is your new job going on".

So now, what? What's the truth?

Silence

Silence, silence was what I needed this morning, when I got up after a Saturday night. I had been sleeping during almost seven hours, and they were enough to rest, to charge my energies and to go for a relax time.

Getting up, something to drink and to eat, dress up to run and to walk, a bottle of water, take the car and go to the beach. I couldn’t imagine that there could be such a kind of corridor full of people enjoying their Sunday. Dogs, bikes, skaters,... And me, thinking about the silence of those last weeks. And then, a sunbeam in front of me, to “wake me up”, to make me realize that views were much more beautiful than the past silence.

Don’t think and just wait. Time will run and things will come.

my amount of roses

A birthday, Saint Valentine's day, Saint Joan's day, Saint Jordi's day, a good grade, a passed exam. Or no reason to do that.

During the way of your life, you can get a lot of roses. Do not throw them away, please. Even if they are dry, they are still alive. Time is running very fast, but one day you stop in front of them and think. You can still remember how time has been passing since you get the first one, why was it, when, where and who was the person who had the feeling and the need to buy it. Then, you start to make stories with the roses. The way they followed to reach you and how difficult was it.

Some times you have to clean the dust they can leave. However you love them.

birthday celebration

How can people who are far from me, who I have not seen for eight or nine months, wish me Happy Birthday before than closest people?

13th of September, 2008

reaching my 22 years old

feeling that it is time to do something more

looking for a change in my life

Driving a car to feel independent. Transporting two of my friends to their place. Hearing a crying voice next to me. Trying to provide the most sensible words to inject the calm. Arriving at home and couldn't find a place to park my car. Parking quite far and walking alone under the company of some shining stars; carried with some birthday presents...

...and the mobile phone was ringing at 5.20, blak night.

awaking

Life is what you make with the dreams you can still remember when you awake

Three broad-brimmed & colorful hats

It should be part of your everyday life, but it isn't.

Sometimes you decide to laugh. Or merely you laugh without a previous plan. Just things come to make your day happier. One of the members in the group buy three colorful broad-brimmed hats from a chinese store for 0.50€ each one, and bring two rackets with a small red ball. The other one bring the most old fashion sunshade. Everyone comes with the most beautiful smile.

Sun and beach; a bottle of water and sand; colours and flowers; ice creams; my Café Europa, Life after Cimmunism book; nice people close to me. All what you need to enjoy the afternoon and evening while chatting and analysing medicine issues with our medicine student.

Paellas' day

From the 11th to the 20th of July, Pedreguer is really involved in the celebration in honour to Saint Bonaventura. During these ten days, we have fully schedule with breakfasts in the town square, lunches with free beer and free snaks, attractions for children; free drinks, snaks and melon for dinner, bulls, shows, concerts, masses, processions and contests.

Here, you can see our PAELLA, it was two days ago during the paellas' day. The organisation comission provided us with the meat, the vegetables, the wine, the snaks and the beer and then we were in charge to prepare the paella and have lunch in the town square with a lot of people. It was really funny!

After that we went to the kiosk to get a MENTIRETA: it is lemon drink served with crushed ice mixed with BURRET, a coffee licor. People started to get a bit drunk and they were throwing water to each other. It would be funnier if the weather were nicer, that day it was raining a little bit...

I am not a good cooker, but I learned a lot paying attention to the cooking skills of some of my friends. Congratulations for Roser and Raquel! Our paella was delicious!

Few days

Few days and it will be over.

Few days and I will be back.

Few days and we will be dreaming.

Few days and you will be missing.

Few days and she will go far.

Few days and he will be happy.

Few days and they will be waiting for me again.

Walking arround such a warm way I have been able to think, to remember, to decide, to appreciate. Always alone, with my keys and my half-litter bottle of water. Once with my camera.

Has this morning been the last walk? We will see...

Balance

Playing to gain a foothold before the other one without falling of the bar

Making counterweight with my arms

Flying so as to maintain balance

Struggling against the wind

Laughing



*I will withstand the pressure, it was just a test*

Nakedness

Her naked legs were brushing his back. He was writing an article while, unconsciously, his mind compared her long legs with the legs of a young horse. He closed his eyes and imagined her perfect silhouette running against the wind.

She caressed his shoulders sftly and, spelling her name slowly, she presented herself using the most detailed way. Her arms were crossed so as to provide him a really warm hug.

She presented also her skin.

South of the Border, West of the Sun - Haruki Murakami

Today, black. Because it is the colour of its cover.

I can't still believe the condensed amount of force that words could have. Or the energy that Murakami gives to each one.

I should be sincere, I can fancy myself as a good reader, but I am not capable to read more than 20 or 30 pages per day. I am the most restless person within the world and I use to get tired rapidly. However, to follow this book has marked the exception; this afternoon I read the penultimate chapter and I wanted to leave the last for tomorrow, but I couldn’t. What a way to analyze and to go in depth in such a real facts.

I didn’t trust that Japanese literature could reach to catch me as it did; and less having the english translation. 12 days have been enough to devour the volume.

Book bought and started in Praha, a holiday Tuesday, together with The Metamorphosis (Franz Kafka), Café Europa: Life After Communism (Slavenka Drakulic) and Enough (Juhn Naish). Book finished in Leeuwarden, a lazy Sunday.

Trying to compress myself

Traying to put everything together so as to find the best composition. In a deep ocean where everything is dispersed, there is no way to bring order. All you can find are tiny pieces of somewhat, without the meaning you are looking for.

Let me give you a little bit of good and a little negative to find a balance.

I will use rationality, feelings and senses to find my decision.

I am aware of my past and consistent with my future; I will build a shape for my current present.

I will mix each small bit of me in a glass jar.

After Prague

"I was always attracted by something deep down, something absolute. Just as some people have a secret love for rainstorms, earthquakes or blackouts, I liked that certain undefinable something directed at me. For want of a better word, call it magnetism. Like it or not, it is a power that ensnares people and reels them in."

Something to think about

I know that today is Saint Jordi's day and this is the lovers' day in the Catalan Countries. Each girl or woman will receive a rose from a boy or man; and she will give him a book.

On the other hand, it is also the international week in the NHL (my "university" in The Netherlands) and we are attending to some international courses. The last and most interesting one was given by Miriam Wall, an Irish woman who is working in Canada. During her lesson we have been talking about economy. You may know everything better than me, because you can watch TV (I don't have it).

Currently, the price of the oil is growing and the value of the dollar is falling (and it make me think about the '29 Crash in New York): €1 = $1.6 Now, our euro is very strong. If we would like, we could buy a lot of things in America with few euros, or have a nice trip (low cost) there. But the situation is not so nice in Spain. The construction bubble has started to deflate. Some companies are in default of payments and bankruptcy. American people won't come to our coasts on holidays this summer, I'm sure. What is going to happen with our beautiful restaurants, with our nice hotel resorts?

Have Spain built useless infraestructures?

Popcorn

Small things that explode under the pressure from an excess of heat.

It is not my case now, but in the encounter with this picture, while I was having a look among them, is this the first thing that beat my mind. Some days you want to run away and leave everything you have already started. You do not mind what they will say, what they will think or what they will complain to you.

You exploit as popcorn.

The next day, you wake up and your bed is full of roses, everything is nice and kind again. You are not a grain of corn.